Let Me Tell Y’all A Story is a weekly column that’s not focused on sports. It’s brought to you by our partners at Chuck Owens, Alfa Insurance.

Last week I wrote about my dislike of haunted houses regarding the looming Halloween holiday.

Today, let’s discuss my favorite part of the tradition, the treats.

To review, I live in a neighborhood where people come from all around to trick-or-treat.

Most years the folks that count these types of numbers record between 1,500-2,000 little ghouls and goblins running up and down our streets in an area of Brookhaven known as Vernondale.

One year our Chamber of Commerce had some candy that had been donated by a local business.

It was the good stuff too, boxes filled Peanut M&Ms, mini–Crunch Bars, and Twix.

Those are all top-tier Halloween treats, in my wide-backed opinion.

We gave out double handfuls to every kid that came to our door and still had boxes left over.

It was the first time in my life that I actually got tired of eating Peanut M&Ms, mini–Crunch Bars, and Twix.

And yet, I still did not tire of the king of all candy bars, the Kit Kat.

Kit Kats are a great way to teach your kids about taxation.

Take your toddler out trick-or-treating on Friday. When they get home, let them crash from their sugar comedown.

After they’re out, go through their bag and take out all the mini-Kit Kats.

If they ask questions, tell them that Uncle Sam took their candy. Give them a brief glimpse into how bad it sucks to be an adult at times.

I can remember a year where we had to take the candy that our kids had gotten at trunk-or-treat and school events earlier in the week and redistribute it to the masses on our street.

That’s another way to teach life lessons, this one about communism.

Whereas Stalin was known to purge his political enemies, I made sure all the good stuff was taken out before handing out mostly dum-dums and tootsie rolls.

Here recently, that’s what I thought kids would be getting from our house this year, more dum-dums and tootsie rolls.

Have you seen the price of candy during this 2025 spooky season?

It’s up almost 11 percent over the cost of the same product last year.

Halloween Candy is a $7.4 BILLION dollar business in America. That’s a lot of mini-Kit-Kats.

There is a meme going around that says, “Just got Halloween candy from ALDI, hope these kids like N&N’s & Skattles.”

I always love it when folks give out treats other than candy, like oatmeal crème pies.

Not sure who, but someone in the neighborhood has been giving out pork rinds and I’d like to thank them for that.

These aren’t just run of the mill pig skins though, they’re always high end, leading me to believe that the person distributing them must work at a pork rind factory.

If you’ve ever had non-GMO, sea salt and cracked black pepper pork rinds, then you know they’re delicious.

We’ll have friends and family over on Halloween night, but with it being on a Friday this year, I’ll spend much of it on a football sideline.

We used to do big group costumes together as a family or along with friends on the street.

One year we all dressed as characters from Harry Potter. We had Harry and Hermione and Snape and even some deeper cuts like Luna Lovegood.

I wore a big, curly haired wig, with a matching beard, while carrying around a lantern and saying, “Yer a wizard, Harry.”

Did anyone walk up to me and recognize me as Rubeaus Hagrid, Care of Magical Creatures teacher at Hogwarts?

Maybe once or twice.

More than that, I got asked if I was Jesus or a character from Duck Dynasty.

A few years later, I dressed as Vision and my wife as the Scarlett Witch from the Disney+ series WandaVision. I thought we looked pretty iconic, but we got more “what are y’all supposed to be” than “I love that show.”

Angela wanted me to dress up as Homer Simpson last year, but that almost felt offensive to me.

Like, I can be a real idiot, but I’m not at a Homer level…yet.

The good news is that even if I’m not at my house on Friday to hand out candy, there will be some good stuff handed out there.

We were at our church event on Sunday, and a friend offered us a big box of leftover candy from the night.

There are lots of Skittles, not Skattles, in the box, along with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, individually wrapped Rolos and an ever-diminishing amount of Kit Kats.

Five Favorite Candies to Take Out of My Kid’s Halloween Bags When They Were Younger

  1. Kit Kats
  2. Twix
  3. Crunch Bar
  4. Peanut M&Ms
  5. Kimchi BBQ Flavored Pork Rinds

Five Candies I Always Left in My Kid’s Halloween Bags When They Were Younger

  1. Dum Dums
  2. Tootsie Rolls
  3. Butterscotch
  4. Almond Joy
  5. Mounds